Later on...

In my last post, I said that I would explain my take on celebrating my birthday, the 'milestone', the hating life, etc. later on... Well, it's later on and I think it's high time I do that.


First of all, I need to start by saying to my friends and especially my family, that I hope I in no way sounded ungrateful for the birthday wishes and the party. I am truly grateful for everything because without all of you, I would have nothing, I would be nothing.


So let's back up and get a sense of where this is all coming from. All my life, I was always proud of my age and never worried about birthdays, no matter which one came along. I had always looked young for my age so that made it a lot easier. Not to mention the fact that I had a lot more going on, on a daily basis and didn't take time to think much about those kinds of things. I was widowed at 24 with two small boys, remarried at 28, had another boy at 29 and divorced by 38. And let's just say that the single parenting part started long before the divorce was final. So yes, I was too busy for thoughts about age.


I actually still felt that way up until probably sometime during the last year or two. There are so many reasons for my way of thinking to change.


One day you look in the mirror and say, "OMG, when did that happen?" "Where was I?" " Where have I been?" Not having time, or taking time, as the case may be, to notice day to day changes, all of a sudden, you're don't look like the same person that you thought you were, but you still are!


That physical change is a given and will eventually happen to everyone. But it's all the other stuff that goes along with it that has been the hardest for me to deal with.


I still have a hard time convincing myself that I am still not 18 years old, that I still don't look like I'm 18 and sometimes even that I can't act like I'm 18. And therein lies the problem...


The number...


The number that changes everything that you are (whether it did or not).


You're 18, you can vote.


You're 21, you can drink.


You're in your 30's, you're thirtysomething.


You're 40, you're over the hill.


You're 50, you're ??? I don't know what...old?


Now you're 60...now you're REALLY old... Like that one day or one year made that much difference....The invites seem to be fewer...maybe you just don't belong or fit in anymore.


I've watched people I know turn into different people when they turn a certain age and it just seems to me that it's ONLY because they feel it's expected. Well, I'm just not into that!


Hating life? Only because of the perception of me that I feel is out there... People, I am still the same 18, 21, 30something, 40ish, 50ish and plain 60 year old person I always was...Don't take that away from me.


I still want the same things, I still want to do the same things, I still want to feel a part of your lives as much as I want you to be a part of mine. Don't take that away from me.


I became part of the blog world probably about 10 months ago...first as a stalker and then a real life blogger. The stories I've read, the 'friends' I've made, the knowledge I have come to know have definitely made me a better person. I am truly grateful for that...because in that I know that I will never be alone...


It has also made me more aware or my mortality....


But that being said...


I am hoping that I can truly live up to the following:




I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio.. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and Compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their Hair could turn silver.
you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, But while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it). MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!
MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER! FRIENDS FOREVER!

Scary...yes...but....

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!

Comments are truly welcomed!

Today is my birthday and I'll cry if I want to...

Okay, today is my birthday...I won't lie...I was not looking forward to this one and I am hating life. But I'm hoping I can make that better.. So I am going to show you how my family celebrated this 'milestone' in photos but I will try to explain my take on it later on...later on...

My kids had a pool party for me on Sunday and for the first time in over a week, it actually didn't rain. I thank you Mike, Susan, David and Lianna for this. And I have to thank all those who came. Random photos...

And I want to say thanks for all the tweets I got from my twitterer friends, facebook birthday wishes, ecards, and look at these flowers I got from my sister! Aren't they gorgeous? Thank you Dottie and Larry!

Catching Up...

A week or so ago, I was in the mood for some spicy food and this is what jumped out of my pantry and refrigerator!




I started with seasoning the chicken strips with chili powder and browning them in a little olive oil. Then I added lots and lots of jalapenos!

Then I mixed in a can of spicy hot FAT-FREE refried beans and a can of Ro-Tel HOT tomatoes and chiles. I dished it out with the Uncle Ben's Spanish Rice (Ready Rice in a microwavable bag - how awesome is that?!) on the side.



It was so good and just what I was craving that I've already made it again since then! This time I mixed the rice right in with rest...so good! I don't have a name for it but if you come up with one, let me know!


Moving on...



Last Sunday on Mother's Day, I spent the afternoon over at Mike and Susan's house along with David, Susan's mom and of course, little (not so little anymore) Mikey.


Susan started a new job probably a month or so ago and her chef asked her if she wanted to borrow his kid's bouncy house for the weekend. Well, there was no twisting of arms going on there...of course she said of course!

How fun is this?


This bouncing thing is fun!

Let me check out this slide!

Oops...gotta remember to hold those feet up...almost did a header!

Do it again...do it again!

(This kid has the strongest toes in the nation!)

Getting set...

And down I go...

Time for bubbles!

In your face Uncle David! ha!

And finally...

I couldn't let this opportunity go by without sending you over to Be Thou a Knight for another Vera Bradley giveaway! Check out this backsack...I can think of so many things I would use this for! And the pattern is gorgeous!

The deadline to enter is Friday, May 22nd, so don't be left out. Click on over and get your entries in!

A Bloggy Breakfast...

This morning I had the good fortune of meeting a fellow blogger and her husband. I must confess I was so nervous...like I was meeting Hollywood celebrities! Isn't that crazy? But truth be told, it couldn't have been more comfortable and so much fun!

Oh, who did I meet, you ask? None other than Amy and her husband, DW, from Chapters! My son and daughter-in-love, David and Lianna, aka Be Thou a Knight, Dusty and Amy and I met at a little place in San Marco called The Metro Diner. I've driven by there many times but never even noticed it before today. We were not disappointed!

I think whenever you meet people in person for the first time, you are all a little nervous as I think all of us were. But it was just like we were all old friends! DW and the DH (or as he is now known, DB - a little inside humor there) talked like they were old college buds and Amy, Lianna and I talked and talked and laughed and laughed.

What a wonderful way to start an otherwise normally do nothing Saturday!

Happy Mother's Day...

Wishing a beautiful day to all mothers, mothers to be and mothers of the future!

Fun in the Sun...and Water Too...

What a difference a year makes! Last year right about this time, Mikey was about 8 months old, just on the verge of walking but certainly not mobile enough to maneuver a pool. And look at him now!

kind of questioning what I'm doing with my phone!

doing his body builder stomach muscle flexing

swimming pool + sunshine + 2 grandmothers at one time = all smiles!

Susan's mom 'blew' into town once again the other day for a very short visit (more on that later) and while Susan was at work and Mike went to bowling, Grandma Barb and me, D-Ma, got to babysit. Thank goodness, I had my cell phone with me to take pictures because I left my camera at home! Still asking myself, 'Self? How do you forget your camera when you go to visit Mikey? That definitely does not compute!'

A Friend in Need....

Please lift your hearts for one of my best friends, Patty. She lost her job a few months ago after being with the same company for 18 years! Doesn't anyone in the world show any loyalty anymore? Okay, that is definitely another topic!

Anyway, she has been unsuccessful in her attempts of finding a new job and not for the lack of trying. This is itself is very depressing to her among the usual trials and tribulations of daily life.

She currently lives in North Carolina but both her children live out of state. She has no support system where she is and has come to a decision to move to Colorado where her son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter live. She has no prospects out there other than the fact that she will have the support of family.

To add salt to the wounds, the health insurance that she currently is able to carry from her former employer under COBRA, is not offered in the state of Colorado. So she is trying to secure medical coverage from whoever will give it to her. I phrase it that way because she had open heart surgery to replace a heart valve several years ago and insurance companies don't take kindly to those kind of pre-existing conditions.

She is at the end of her rope and I personally feel like she has made the right decision even though this move is going to be extremely trying, not to mention, exhausting.

Again, spread the word and give a shout out to Man upstairs for my good friend!

Thanking the blog world so much from both Patty and me!